I have been changing somewhat. Mostly getting stronger it seems to deal with the difficulty of living in a foreign country. I have been thinking a bit about this.
Before I came to Japan there is a truth I hadn't fully grasped. It is not that complex and it is possible someone could have told me, but for it to fully dawn I think I needed to live in a different culture.
That truth being, the parameters of a culture are incidental. So for example, "cool" men in Australia are quite masculine. However in Japan, "cool" men are not very masculine. They have something of a half michael jackson half rock star feel. Or good teeth is a much less favoured attribute in Japan. They have celebrities that have brown or bad teeth.
This is obvious enough to a degree, but there is a freedom you get from really knowing it. I realise that anxieties I have had about myself, in areas that I don't conform to the norm is ok, as the norm is totally incidental anyway. I am not saying I am entirely free from all this, but I have been given a great perspective on it which has helped me.
I do think you have to be careful though, as there are things that are good and bad for humans irrespective of culture. So I don't think the lesson from this is to never change, but to not worry about cultural conformance.
This has made me want to live in other countries more as well. I want to experience many different cultures and keep learning more about humans. I think we are fascinating creatures.
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What a great lesson to learn Ali.
When I went to Italy when I was 16, I left Australia thinking I wasn't really that cool and so I was uncertain about myself. In Italy, people were really warm to me and I made many friends easily. I came back to Australia with a completely different outlook - I realised, as you have, that this 'coolness' is not set in stone... helped me get on with my life and have a lot less stress. A great benefit to travelling!
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